Ugh. That would not be a good idea for my rest schedule. It wasn’t easy working out or eating or practicing this hard or this often, especially after the private offseason workouts since football ended at school.
I needed my rest. But, I realized as I undressed and slid back into my own bed to grab what little extra sleep I could before the alarms went off and Day 3 began, I also knew that I would not turn down another night fucking Lily.
The next few days passed with surprising speed. I was lagging a bit behind the other wide receivers in cramming the playbook into my head, and the next couple practices really showed that.
The coaches would call my number, they’d tell me to run a route, and more than once I flubbed it and ran the wrong one. I tried to explain that I’d just found out I was gonna be trying out for the team less than a week earlier, and that I hadn’t even received the playbook until Monday when I arrived, but they coaches weren’t having any of it. They cursed me out a blue streak and had me sit on the sidelines and watch while the rest of them practiced.
I noticed Coach Armstrong see me while I fumed on the sidelines. Fuck this shit.
I had to focus more. And the end of the week, Lily came up to me for our daily interview, and I just couldn’t do it anymore.
“How was practice today, Drake?”
I narrowed my eyes. Yeah, she looked good, Yeah, even though I was bone-tired I could picture us in bed again. We hadn’t yet gotten to repeat that night, not with how busy I had been since, and how much work I still had left. “You know very well how practice went today, Lily,” I replied, trying my hardest to keep my voice even and not let the anger and humiliation I felt seep in.
It was not easy.
“I saw you spent a bunch of time on the sidelines. What was that about?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
Lily pressed on. “Come on, Drake, remember how this works. You practice, then you talk, then I write. Remember?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Couldn’t she see how wound up I was? Why was she still asking me these questions?
“So, practice today, how come you were benched?”
“Because I didn’t know the fucking playbook yet, OK? Fuck. I still have to learn the route tree so I know where I need to be when Lance throws me the ball, got it?” I snapped at her, forgetting myself.
Lily looked like I had hit her in the face. I felt like shit. “Uhh, ok, Drake, good to know.” Lily sounded tense, like she was suddenly super nervous around me. She recovered after a second, her voice going back to her normal reporter even tone. “How are you planning on fixing that up?”
I sighed, still aching over how I had just sounded. “I’m going to study more, make sure I know all I need to know. It’s gonna take a little time.”
“The first round of roster cuts are coming in a week, Drake. The coaches don’t have much tape on you to evaluate you yet.” The implication in her words was clear - so far this was not going well.
“I know, I know, I’m working as hard as I can, but this is a lot to learn and I haven’t had the time yet.” I sighed again and looked up at the sky for a second before focusing back on Lily. “I know that’s no excuse, though, and it won’t happen again. I’ll be ready by Monday.” The weekend was coming up, and all I planned on doing was study after brief workouts in the morning.
Lily put her notebook away, and I knew the interview was over. “Hey,” I started as she turned around to leave. The rest of the players had dispersed - the coaches had told all the players and staff to give us our space during the interviews.
Lily didn’t respond. “Hey,” I said again. “I’m sorry-“
She whipped around and stared me down, her eyes blazing with anger. “Save it, Drake.”
“Look, I’m apologiz-“
She poked me right in the chest, just above where the pads ended. “I don’t need your apologies. And I don’t need you taking out your problems on me. I’m here doing a job just like you are, and unlike you, I see to want to keep working around here beyond the next month.”
I stood there like a statue. “Are you OK?”
Her eyes lit up again. “Don’t you dare make this about me, Drake. This is all on you. You’re the one who doesn’t know his shit yet. You’re the one in danger of getting cut from the team.”
“And if I get cut, what’ll that do for you?”
“We may be in this boat together, but I’ll be damned if I let you take me down with you.”
“Listen, Lily, I’m trying-“
“Well, try harder. Make this work, Drake.” Her voice softened, and it looked like she was almost about to cry for a second before she caught herself. “You have what it takes, I know you do,” she started again, softer this time, just in case anyone else was listening. “And you won’t get another shot at this.”
“I know.”
We were about to keep going back and forth like this when there was a commotion on the other side of the field. Both Lily and I turned to look at it and saw a group of guys gathering, still in their gear and pads, around someone or something.